Castiel Deserved To Be Loved
by LirilaiNatural
Summary: Basically, this beast of a smutfest came about because I promised Sonja a 2,000 word fic where Dean worships Cas if she finished her thesis. Well, she finished her thesis. And this was finished a couple of days ago, and it's nearly 6K worth of pure smut. With a little bit of feels. Enjoy. 3


Castiel deserved to be loved.

God does he deserve to be loved.

After everything he'd given up for the world. For his friends. For Dean.

He deserved to be loved.

He deserved soft, meaningful kisses. He deserved gentle nips at the sensitive bits of skin that made the rest of him tingle. He deserved touches that set his Grace on fire.

He deserved everything.

And after everything Dean had put him through, had asked him to do, had done to him, Dean was willing to give Castiel all that and more.

Dean slowly traced a path across Castiel's face with his lips, gently soothing every place that had ever had a cut, or a bruise, and he lingered over the ones that Dean had put there personally when the mark was taking over after the Steins had invaded the bunker.

Castiel sighed and whimpered as Dean paid him the attention he deserved, Dean hated repeating himself even in his thoughts but he couldn't help it, a mantra of _"you deserve this"_ running through his head as he gentled the images of bloodstains and ran his tongue lightly over skin to ease his worry that the skin would be permanently tainted with blood thanks to everything that had happened previously.

Thanks to the other angels.

Thanks to the demons.

Thanks to him.

Only when Dean was sure, completely, one hundred percent sure that he'd got every placing of bruise or cut did he move his attention to Cas' lips. The angel groaning loudly into Dean's mouth as their lips slid together, the kiss almost chaste in its tenderness.

Dean licked gently across the seam of Castiel's lips and felt the angel's entire _being_ shudder, almost as if his true form was reacting in the same way as the vessel that was now completely his own did.

The flash of smugness that Dean felt was soon squashed by how many more times he should have made Cas feel like that. He should have been doing this every day.

But he was allowed now, and he wasn't going to give up this opportunity to completely worship every inch of Cas' body.

Ever.

Dean slowly ran his hands up Castiel's sides, tracing up the arms that were draped loosely over Dean's shoulders and twining their fingers together before moving them slowly to sit on either side of Cas' head, the angel sighing as Dean held his weight on his knees and his forearms which ran along the outside of Cas', meaning that Dean's body hovered over the top of Castiel's.

Cas' body seemed to fit perfectly with Dean's, his legs loosely apart so Dean could rest between them, his chest moving in time with Dean's breath even though he didn't really need to breathe, his head tilted slightly to the side so their mouths could fit together in the most comfortable way.

Really it had always been like that, them both moving together like a well oiled machine, it wasn't a surprise at all that this is how they'd work when they finally decided to show the other what they meant to them.

When Dean finally showed Cas what the angel meant to him.

Dean gently started to move his kisses away from Cas' mouth, kissing the corner of it, then his cheek, then the corner of his jaw, then along the bone which divided it from his neck, before gently trailing kisses down Cas' neck as Cas' head tilted out of the way on impulse, giving Dean access to the vulnerable stretch of skin in a show of such trust Dean had to squeeze his eyes shut.

After everything, Cas still trusted him so much. Dean was determined to prove that it wasn't a mistake.

Not any more.

Not ever again.

Dean nosed gently at the join between Cas' neck and jaw and opened his mouth to place open-mouthed kisses there, his tongue lapping gently at the skin as Cas gasped and shuddered more underneath him at the sensation, his arms tensing and relaxing with each jolt of pleasure that Dean coaxed out of him.

Gently, Dean ran his tongue along Castiel's collarbone and traced the bones under the skin, reaching the other side of his neck to continue the gentle caress of skin that was causing Cas to heat up inside his clothing, if Dean glanced at Cas' face he could see a thin sheen of sweat over his forehead, and, _"oh god"_.

Cas' eyes were screwed shut, his mouth hanging open as he panted slightly, Dean smiled against Cas' neck and gently bit down at the skin just below Cas' ear, causing Cas to groan loudly, before taking the earlobe into his mouth and gently suckling on it before running his tongue over the shell of Cas' ear.

"You still with me angel?" Dean mumbled into Cas' ear, shocked at how low and gentle his voice sounded after the harsh way he'd last spoken to Castiel before he stormed out of the bunker.

If Cas was surprised, he didn't show it, "yes, Dean, always," Cas's voice rumbled out of his chest, already sounding wrecked, and breathless.

"Good," Dean breathed against his lips before kissing Cas firmly again, squeezing his hands gently before leaning onto his elbows to start undoing Cas' shirt.

They'd hardly said 'hello' to each other before Dean had wrapped Castiel up in a bone-crushing hug and started to apologise, Cas had held Dean as tightly as he dared without hurting him and murmured into Dean's ear that it was alright, Dean had desperately shook his head and insisted that he'd make it up to Cas, he'd do anything to make it right.

Sam had disappeared into the library to start researching into The Darkness, grumbling about how he couldn't 'look online due to that stupid band' and lamenting the ease and speed of an internet search as he started rifling through book indexes.

Dean had hardly heard any of that as he spotted Cas for the first time since the mark left and moved straight into his arms.

He'd then proceeded to manoeuvre Cas into his room and remove his trenchcoat, suit jacket, tie and shoes before staring at Cas and promising to prove how sorry he was before laying him down on Dean's bed.

Dean brought himself back to the present as he reached the last button on Cas' shirt before he had to untuck it, he pulled away slightly to watch Castiel's reaction, waiting for the angel to open his eyes before asking if it was alright.

Cas responded by slowly reaching down and pulling the shirt out from his slacks then sliding his hands under Dean's outer shirt to rest them on his hips, pulling their bodies together slowly, as if he wasn't sure if he was allowed, so Dean could feel his erection forming through the fabric of his trousers.

Dean's breath hitched slightly as he gulped and nodded, leaning his head down to kiss Cas gently as he finished undoing the buttons and ran his hands up and down Cas' sides, gently dancing the tips of his fingers up over Cas' ribs and making him squirm slightly and huff.

Dean catalogued the fact that Cas was ticklish away for another day, because there would be another day. Now he'd had a taste of this there was no way he was going to give it up, or let another person do this to Cas again.

A flash of possessiveness rippled through Dean and he growled gently against Cas' lips, his hands gripping Cas' shoulders before he moved his mouth to Cas' neck again and bit down enough to leave a mark before sucking on the area to create a small bruise.

Castiel moaned as Dean nibbled gently over the hickey and flexed his hands on Dean's hips, Dean ran his hands down Cas' chest with more pressure and moved so he could start kissing down the bared skin of his torso.

He marvelled at the movement of muscle under his lips, every slight shift that Cas made felt intimately through his lips, every breath that Cas took lifting his chest and pressing him closer to Dean's mouth, every sound he made vibrating through the small points of contact that existed between the two of them but were felt in every atom of each other's being.

It was as if their bodies were screaming _'finally! This is all we've wanted all along!'._

For all Dean knew, that was exactly what they were screaming. It definitely felt that way with the jolts of electricity that were sparking between them.

He gently moved the fabric of Cas' shirt further apart so he could access more of his chest, trailing kisses, and bites, and licks, and gentle suckles up and down Cas' chest and watching as little red marks blossomed on the skin from where he paid it more attention, some of them threatening to become hickeys but Dean was satisfied with the one on Cas' neck.

For now.

The slightly tanned, toned skin of Cas' chest was becoming flushed, as if his entire body was blushing at the attention Dean was paying it, and Dean marvelled at how smooth it was even though he knew if it was any other being than Cas it would be marred with scars due to the things it had been through.

The only thing marking the skin was the Enochian tattoo that Castiel had got when he last became human, Dean flinched slightly at the memory before tracing the tip of his tongue over the letters, tasting the words even though he didn't know what they said or what they meant, just thankful that they'd played a part in keeping Cas safe when Dean wasn't able to.

Dean felt the sigh that Cas let out drift through his hair as he placed gentle kisses across each line of text, Cas' hand moving from his waist to stroke a thumb across Dean's jaw as his body made aborted little movements to try and get more pressure on his erection.

Dean moved his head to the side and kissed Cas' palm, then his wrist, and nosed under the collar of Cas' shirt, then moved to kiss the pad of each of his fingers before gently nibbling and sucking on Cas' thumb.

Cas sucked in a sharp breath as he watched Dean, his eyes widening and dick twitching as he watched the hunter lick over his thumb before taking it fully into his mouth and sucking gently, sliding off it with a pop and smiling up at Cas from his position by his waist.

"Dean..." Cas breathed his name almost like... Like a _prayer_ , in answer Dean kissed his way back up Cas' chest and met his lips eagerly as Castiel tilted his head towards him again, Dean's hands moving up Cas' chest and sliding the shirt off Cas' shoulders, swiftly undoing the buttons on the cuffs then pulling the shirt out from underneath him as Cas arched his hips up to be able to free the fabric.

Dean leant back to run his eyes slowly over Cas' chest, seeing the colour rise on Castiel's cheeks as he stared and licked his lips before slowly lifting the hand that he hadn't already kissed and kissing each finger, before kissing the palm then tracing the veins in his wrist with his tongue and slowly kissing his way up Cas' arm to his shoulder, then up his neck and finally to his mouth again, earning him another sigh as Castiel smiled against his mouth at the attention, the smile somehow making it even easier to kiss him as Dean smiled unconsciously in response.

Dean's forearms lay alongside Cas' head as they kissed, their movements slow and almost seeming like they were planned; planned down to each hitch of breath, each nibble of lips, each moan.

Cas had slid his hands up Dean's sides and onto his shoulders under his outer shirt, he gently moved the fabric off Dean's shoulders but Dean moved his hands to stop him.

"No, angel, this is all about you." Castiel's breath caught in his throat for a moment as he stared at Dean's eyes, the hunter smiling at him and twining their fingers together again to kiss the back of Cas' knuckles, not breaking the eye contact as he slowly placed Cas' hands by the sides of his head again and let them go, "stay."

Castiel nodded and swallowed around the small lump that had appeared in his throat for some reason and had to blink at the prickling sensation behind his eyes. Dean kissed him once more, chastely, on the lips before kissing a line down his chest again and hovering over his abdomen.

Cas watched as Dean folded his body so he was leaning over his knees and had his hands braced on either side of Cas' hips, he watched as Dean nuzzled at the trail of hair below his belly button and sighed against the skin before kissing at it and across the top of his slacks, gently biting over the jut of his hipbones as he went, chin brushing against the erection that was causing Cas to again squirm for contact with the other man.

Dean leant back slightly and licked his lips as he eyed the tent of Cas' slacks, bending down again to kiss over the erection through the fabric, Cas sucking in a breath that was released as a groan as Dean gently moved his lips up and down his length, pressing against the trousers as he got closer to the base so he could reach through the taut fabric and making Cas hiss at the pressure this put on the head of his cock.

Cas clenched his hands as Dean continued to mouth at his cock, his fingernails digging into his palms slightly as one of Dean's hands moved to undo the button on his slacks, the other sliding between his boxers and slacks and gently pressing down on his erection so Dean could undo the zipper smoothly and open up Cas' fly to continue what he was doing through just Cas' boxers.

Cas moaned loudly and his back arched, his hands fisting into the sheets as Dean gently wrapped his lips around the shaft of his erection and breathed hotly through the fabric about half way up his length, moving away with a satisfied smirk as Cas panted and writhed for a few seconds after Dean stopped.

"Dean..." Cas groaned again as Dean moved his slacks away from his ass, Cas lifting his hips so Dean could take them off completely, leaving Cas only in his boxers.

Dean moved back up his body, ghosting touches with one hand as the other supported him above Cas and Dean pressed their foreheads together, looking down the length of their bodies as he moved the hand he wasn't leaning on back down Cas' body in a firm stroke that ended on Cas' hip.

Cas glanced down between them and squeezed his eyes shut with another groan as he saw Dean's jeans tented at the crotch like his boxers were, it wasn't as obvious because of the more restricting fabric but he could tell by the way that Dean shifted slightly and gasped that Dean wanted nothing more to release himself from the clothes he was wearing, "Dean, clothes," Cas managed to gasp as Dean slid his hand over and rubbed his palm from the base of Cas' cock to the top and gently rolled his palm over the head a few times in gentle but persistent circles.

"All in time, angel," Dean purred, no, really, he _purred_ , as if he was enjoying this. Cas grit his teeth and his hips stuttered into the contact from Dean's palm, he felt more than heard Dean's breathy laugh as he stroked up and down the outside of Cas' boxers at a steady pace, not fast enough to really cause any friction, but not slow enough to stop it feeling amazing.

"Dean, talk," Cas ground out between breathy moans, Dean laughed again and dropped his lips onto Cas', Cas kissed back eagerly and for a moment forgot what he'd asked Dean to do as their tongues twisted together and Dean breathed his own moans into Cas' mouth.

"Do you know one good thing that came of that curse?" Dean mumbled, almost too quiet to hear if Castiel hadn't bee completely focussed on everything that was Dean.

Dean; his eyes, almost glowing with an emotion Castiel was almost too scared to name just in case he was wrong; his lips, ghosting breaths over Cas' own as the words left him in a gentle rumble; his arm by Cas' head supporting him so Cas could see the muscles in Dean's arm bunching and shaking slightly with the extended effort of keeping him up on the mattress; his fingers carding through Cas' hair almost as if he didn't realise he was doing so, pulling on it every now and then and making Cas groan loudly then blush as he did so; his other hand that was rubbing up and down Cas's dick, making Cas writhe and jerk his hips unconsciously to get more pressure even though he also didn't want this to end.

"The good thing was, I had no inhibitions when it took me over. Now that might sound like a bad thing," Dean paused to kiss Cas quickly, "but, oh god, Cas, you have no idea how much of a good idea it actually was. It made me realise I could have things I wanted as long as the other person wanted them too, it made it so much easier to stop denying myself the things that made me happy, or the things I enjoyed. It made me realising I could stop pretending that I don't like what I do. And oh god I like you." Dean kissed him firmly, almost desperately as his hand stilled on Cas' cock.

Cas kissed him back with as much feeling as he could, which in all honesty was a lot more than he ever felt possible. Being an angel with feelings was something that he was still trying to wrap his head around, but the strength of Dean's longing for him would always break through anything Castiel had ever tried to hide behind, even Naomi's conditioning couldn't stop it from cracking his shell like an egg dropped onto concrete.

From a plane.

Dean groaned into the kiss, "no, I want to be honest. Cas," he paused and licked his lips, opening his eyes to look at Cas, nudging Cas' nose with his own when Cas didn't open his own eyes right away and taking in a breath in a sharp gasp when Cas finally did open his eyes, god he looked almost completely done, his eyes were blown, his lips red and slick with saliva and hanging open as he panted, and his hair everywhere from how Dean had been pulling his hand through it, wait, when had Dean been carding his hand through it and leaning on his elbow? He shook his head as he took another deep breath and swallowed around the words stuck in his throat, "I love you, Cas." Cas' eyes widened almost comically, "I love you like this, open and happy and _safe_ because I know where you are, and I know nothing is hunting you."

Dean's hand slipped below the waistband of Cas' boxers and finally, _finally_ , made contact with his erection, Cas gasped and his eyes flickered shut again, "I love you when you're completely covered in your trenchcoat and suit, and that stupid fucking tie that you always manage to put on backwards no matter how many times we show you how to do it." Dean huffed out a laugh and started to stroke up and down Cas' erection and Cas' moans grew louder before Dean kissed them into whimpers, "I love you when you're being all holy-angel-of-the-lord and smiting the fuck out of the things that are hurting innocent people. I love you when you're sat trawling through books to help us out on a case even though it frustrates you because you just _care_ so much about helping us."

As Dean spoke he'd sped up the strokes on Cas' cock, adding a twist every now and again as he reached the head and Cas was thrusting into Dean's hand in time with the movements. Cas was making noises on nearly every other breath and the only thing really escaping his mouth when he did was a strangled, drawn out version of Dean's name.

Dean watched as Cas fell apart slowly, cataloguing the sounds he made, and the way his face twisted in pleasure and his mouth almost looked like it had forgotten to close. He watched for the signs that told him Cas was getting closer and repeated the motions that drew Cas' orgasm to the surface, bending down at the last moment and whispering "I love _you_ , Cas," into his ear, making Cas' back go rigid in an arc before he groaned and came over his chest.

Cas whimpered through Dean stroking him through the aftershocks, finally pushing lightly on Dean's shoulder when it became too much and sighing in relief when Dean moved his hand and bent down to kiss him deeply and thoroughly.

"What... 'Bout you?" Cas mumbled when Dean moved away.

Dean shrugged, "I told you, this was about you, Cas. I can wait."

Cas shook his head and sluggishly raised his arm, huh, angels could get orgasm drunk. Dean almost laughed but instead he felt his face move into an affectionate smile as Cas' hand cupped his cheek, Dean turned to nose at his palm and kiss his wrist, ducking his head with a blush at Cas' returned smile.

"No, Dean, I... I want you to. Please."

Dean blinked back up at Castiel, beautiful, caring, dishevelled, _loving_ Castiel.

Castiel who wanted nothing more than Dean to be safe, and happy, and know he was loved. He swallowed around the lump in his throat and went to say he was fine, but Cas narrowed his eyes slightly and pulled Dean down by the back of his head, kissing him gently before whispering "please..." against his lips.

Dean groaned, he could never really deny Cas anything and this time he let Cas slip the outer shirt off his shoulders, he barely registered it being thrown to the side before Castiel removed his t-shirt and sent it flying too.

Cas fumbled his zipper slightly, but batted Dean's hands away when Dean went to do it himself, taking a deep breath through his nose and clenching his hands a couple of times before successfully moving the zipper down.

Dean groaned as the pressure on his dick was removed and he dropped his forehead to Cas' to watch as Castiel slowly ran a finger up either side of his erection and then press his palm to the full length. Cas pushed at his jeans and huffed as he couldn't move them much below Dean's ass, Dean laughed slightly and stood to take them off.

When he moved Castiel leant to the side of the bed that Dean normally slept in and rooted in dean's draw, he pulled out the bottle of lube Dean normally used on himself and offered it to Dean, Dean gulped slightly and took it from Cas with shaking hands.

"Are you sure, Cas? Last time I did this I wasn't actually human."

"All the more reason for you to do it," Cas replied as he settled back on Dean's bed, watching him with a soft smile.

Dean sniffed and blinked down at the lube in his hand before shaking his shoulders slightly and finally kicking off his jeans. He put the lube on the bed next to Cas' hips and hooked his thumbs into his boxers, watching Cas lick his bottom lip before smiling and pulling them down and stepping out of them and straight back onto the bed, Cas watching his every move.

Dean settled himself between Castiel's legs and sighed at the contact of skin as he kissed him again, Cas fumbled for the bottle and poked Dean's hand with it, Dean laughed into the kiss slightly but took the bottle from Cas and poured some into his hand, rubbing it over his fingers carefully before reaching down between them to gently circle over Cas' hole.

"You gotta tell me if you want to stop, okay?" Castiel frowned at him but Dean shook his head and kissed him, "no, Cas. Castiel. I love you, alright?" Cas's eyes widened again but he smiled so brightly Dean almost had to shut his eyes, "I don't want this to be uncomfortable for you."

Cas sucked in a deep breath, feeling the prickling behind his eyes again, he didn't quite trust his own voice to be steady so he nodded and relaxed his legs more, letting Dean slide his hips closer as he started to gently massage around the rim of Cas's ass.

Dean bent down to kiss Castiel deeply, pulling his lip between his teeth gently and sucking on it as he dipped the tip of one finger inside Cas, Cas gasping and arching his back as his body reacted to the feeling, his nerves still relaxed and sensitive from the orgasm Dean had just given him a few minutes ago.

Watching him carefully as he moved, Dean began to slowly move the finger in and out of Cas, going slowly and pushing in sightly further each time until it was buried completely in Cas' ass. He moved it in teasing drags as Castiel began to writhe underneath him again, panting and gripping the sheets with his hands, little moans escaping as if he didn't realise they were happening.

Dean pulled the finger out completely and began the process again with two fingers, Cas whining as Dean pulled them away to add more lube and arching off the bed when Dean pushed them in to half their length and started to scissor them, slowly pulling them out and widening the distance between them as he did.

A few minutes later Cas was panting and pushing back on Dean's fingers, breathy pleas of 'more' and 'Dean please' dropping from his parted lips in what was almost a chant, and Dean surprised him by pushing slowly in with three fingers when he'd loosened Cas up enough that the two fingers he'd been working him with slid in easily even when pulled apart.

Castiel arched up off the bed again and one hand moved to Dean's shoulder as he let out a startled moan, pushing himself back onto Dean's fingers in a jerky movement as he rocked his hips and tried to relax back onto the bed.

Dean watched with his mouth open as Cas began to fuck himself on Dean's fingers, moaning as he did so and rolling his hips to try and get Dean to go deeper and faster. Dean gripped the base of his cock with his free hand and moved with Cas to keep the movements slow and careful, making sure Cas was loose and ready before he removed his fingers, making Castiel whine again, and kissed Cas deeply.

"Are you sure, angel?" He panted as Cas ground his ass against Dean's erection.

"Dean, if your fingers feel that good I need to feel your... Your cock in me. Right now. Please," Cas said the last word in a breathy moan as he ground his asscrack against Dean's cock again, making Dean's breath hitch as Cas wrapped his legs around Dean's thighs and pulled him in closer, putting a wonderful amount of pressure on Dean's erection.

"Jesus, Cas," Dean groaned as he poured more lube into his hand and fisted his cock, he stroked it a few times to fully coat it and groaned at the ease of his hand moving up and down the full length of it, he realised Cas had loosened his legs and was watching Dean stroke himself with what appeared to be hunger in his eyes.

"Like what you see, angel?" Dean purred again, dragging his hand slowly up his cock and watching as Castiel's tongue darted out to lick his lips and his eyes flicked to Dean's before almost instantly moving back to Dean's hand moving over his erection, he watched as Dean leant forwards and positioned the head of his cock at Cas' ass, Dean heard Cas' breath hitch as he felt the slight pressure there and moved his free hand to cup Cas' cheek, propping himself on his forearm as he gently joined their lips together before rolling his hips slightly to increase the pressure.

Castiel groaned into Dean's mouth and rolled his hips against him, helping Dean slip inside and let out his own loud moan, only muffled slightly by Cas practically breathing it in and kissing him as if he was starving for it.

Dean slid slowly into Cas, drawing out and following the same technique as he'd used for his fingers, pulling out then sliding slightly further in with each thrust, taking his time and enjoying the drag as he moved inside of Cas, revelling in the tight heat that was surrounding him and never remembering anything feeling this good.

Ever.

Cas whimpered with each movement out, and let out a groan when Dean pushed in further, his hands scrabbling slightly at Dean's back as his heels pushed into Dean's thighs in encouragement, Dean wiped his hand on the sheets and tangled it back in Castiel's hair, tugging gently on the strands and making Cas' moans turn more breathy as he tried to roll his hips and arch his neck at the same time.

Dean moved his mouth to Cas' neck and started to kiss and suck at the skin there as he bottomed out, muffling his moan in the juncture of Cas' neck and shoulder as Cas groaned and rolled his hips slightly, clenching around Dean as Dean's hips stuttered.

He knew he wasn't really going to last that long, so Dean began to move, slowly at first but encouraged by no traces of pain in the moans that Castiel muffled into Dean's shoulder and the way Cas' legs tightened around his waist he soon sped up, rolling his hips when he bottomed out and putting one hand under Cas' ass to lift him up a bit, eventually moving a pillow down to slide under Cas' ass to get a better angle.

And instantly groaning louder as it let him slide in impossibly deeper, he thrust into Cas a few times before Cas yelped and went taut, his back arching so sharply Dean almost worried it would break, which caused him to laugh and drop his head onto Cas shoulder at the clichéness of the thought.

Cas slapped at his shoulder and murmured an amused 'shut up', which turned into a moan when Dean moved again and lifted his head to kiss him firmly on the lips.

"Sorry, babe, but I think we just found something to make you feel good," Dean said, trying to recreate the move and making Cas moan again, but not quite hitting the right spot, "you gotta work with me here, angel, come on, let me make you feel as good as you deserve to feel."

Cas groaned and rolled his hips in time with Dean's thrusts, eventually hitting his prostate again and this time Cas was prepared, but Dean wasn't ready for how Cas bit down on his shoulder and clenched around him. Dean moaned loudly, burying his face into the pillow behind Cas as his hips stuttered; he came suddenly when Castiel squeezed his ass and whispered "I love you too, Dean," into his ear.

Dean lay on top of Cas and just breathed deeply for a few minutes, his nose buried in Cas' neck and making him feel drunk off Castiel's smell, the musky scent of sex and something otherworldly, like the smell after rain mixed with warm summer nights sat looking at clear skies full of stars.

After a few moments Dean groaned and pulled out of Cas, who let out a breathy gasp as he did, then moved to kiss Cas gently, their lips moulding to each other as if they'd been doing it for years as Castiel's hands traced patterns across Dean's back and Dean's carded themselves through Cas' hair.

They lay together, murmuring apologies and admitting secrets to each other for the rest of the night, exchanging kisses after the more painful admittances, and after the happy ones, and comforting kisses after the ones that made the other sad, basically after every experience that was recounted they found an excuse to exchange kisses until Dean started to drift.

"M'sorry, Cas."

"What for?" They'd moved so Cas was laying on Dean's chest as Dean massaged his scalp gently.

"This was supposed to be about you. Everything is always about you. Or it should be."

Cas laughed and kissed Dean's chest, "no, some things should be about you, too."

"No, only ever about you." Dean yawned and murmured the next sentence as he slipped further into sleep, "you're the only person that I can really love, you're the only one I've ever _really_ loved, and up till now I've been terrible at showing it." Dean fell silent and Cas thought he'd gone to sleep, the angel closed his eyes and listened to Dean's breathing as he counted his, very human, heartbeats, "I promise you, Cas," Castiel almost jumped but managed to repress the reflex, "I promise you I'll show you how much I love you. Every, damn, day. I love you."

Dean finally fell asleep properly, one arm wrapped protectively around Cas' shoulders with one hand buried in Cas' hair and the other resting on his hip, twitching as Dean slept.

Cas smiled and thought over everything that had happened, even though a lot of it had hurt, he was happy to be here. With Dean. Especially now Dean was going to prove he loved Cas as much as Cas loved Dean.

Had proved he loved Cas as much as Cas loved Dean.

"I love you too, Dean. I always have."


End file.
